Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Love for Marriage?
Nowadays, love, affection, and attraction are the primary things we use to determine who we marry. Answer one or both: a) Is this a good way to determine a "mate for life?" Does love really help determine whether or not two people will be compatible for life and/or raise children together well? b) How and when did this trend develop? Why did it develop?
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Love is the only way to determine who you should marry. Although, there is a huge difference between love and lust. Lust is the Attraction for somebody, while love is when one has certain feelings for somebody else. If you marry based on lust then that is bad. If you really love someone and care about that person, then you should marry that person if you want to. Although, you have to look deep inside yourself and ask yourself if you really love that person. This is the best way to prevent divorce and bad marriages. You can't marry because of money or just to get married either. This is a very bad reason to marry and at least one of the partners will be unhappy. The only reason why you should marry someone is if you love that person.
Nowadays, it is simple to find a great relationship with the right amount of love. Also, it is simple to say that with the right amount of love is always good for having children. However, even if having children depends on love, it isnt always the right dicisionand might not always work out. But, taking that risk is the chance you have to take for the people you love.
We know that people base their relationships on love, affection, and attracting. This could and could not be a good way to determine a "mate for life." I think it is somewhat of a good way to determine a "mate for life." If the two truly love each other, they can get through any situation they go through, together. If they really felt love among themselves, they would not let anything stop them from getting married. Most married couples do and have this type of relationship. No matter what mistakes either of them make, they get through it. However, people could also say that people fall in love too quickly. A lot of people say they love each other, but are they really committed to each other. Some people run off when problems occur, and they eventually will, or run off when they see a better option. It could go either way. It just depends on how one views it.
Nowaday's love is the way you want to determine who you will spend the rest of your life with. Back in the early 20th century they way a woman would get married to a man is by a arranged marriage. When you have a arranged mariage you don't know who you are going to marry, and will probably not be happy with that person that you are married to. Nowadays when you marry someone it is because you love that certain person, not because your parents said that you have to. The difference between love and lust is that love is something that you feel when you have strong feelings for a certain person. While lust is just an attraction to somebody. Love is when you want to spend the rest of your life with that special someone. You should only marry someone if you really love that person. If you marry someone but start to have a unhappy marriage with someone, then you probably didn't really love that person in the first place. Although you could have an unhappy marriage, but still love that person, but not as your spouse.
a) Love's meaning can vary, depending on who you ask. If you ask a young person, their answer may not be as accurate as an adults answer. To young kids, love may be just an extreme attraction to one. Although, to mature adults, i believe that love to them is the same as the young kids see it but also carrying for one and wanting what's best for them. As much as we see love, only people that have truly been in love know what its really about, and that is carrying. Moreover, i think there should be more than attraction between to inorder to get married. I think that they should care about eachother and want whats best. Also love is a feeling that never goes away so if someone loves someone else, and they say they said "they loved" them but they stopped, they havent stopped it has just faded awaiting to be awaken again.
Love, affection and attraction are good ways to determine your soul mate nowadays. If you and someone else have mutual feelings towards each other, why not have them as your special mate for life? Affection and love towards someone is a lot better than just liking them for how they look or how much money they have. As time goes by you will see that everything turns out better when you choose your special someone for who they really are and how their personality is. I do think love will help determine whether or not two people will be compatible for raising children. As long as the parents make smart decisions, think before they act and always keep in mind that their child is present, then raising a child will be no problem.
I belive that nowadays people get married and have children, but before the marriage they never really thought if they would last for life. I feel that you need to be able to still love eachother in the later years not just now. I belive it is better to marry someone because you love them rather than a staged or stup marriage, the reason for this is because they dont really love eachother and they are just forced to get married, resulting in fights and miserable lives, possibly even abuse. I think that the time where people changed to get married for love during the 30's when girls begin to get more rights.
If only it were so easy as to choose who you marry based on love, affection, and attraction, and know you made the 100% right choice. Sadly this isn't enough. First of all, people are clever. they realize what they need to do in order to attract someone else. So the way they act in the beginning of a relationship could be different then the way they will act later on in life. Also people are blind in some aspects regarding love, affection and attraction. People tend to fall in love for the wrong reasons, being anywhere from looks to financial state. It is for those reasons that i don't think this is a great way to determine your "mate for life". However, as it is now and forever will be it is the best way to determine a "mate for life". I just think if people would act as they really are and wouldn't mistake love for want or need, then we wouldn't have the 50% divorce rate that we have today. lastly, of course love can help determine whether or not people will be compatible for life and/or raise children together, but thats only if they actually love each other.
Today, we marry people because we love them. This was not always the case. Although most people choose the people they want to marry sometimes marriges are arranged. Or, like the family in Bread Givers, the girls of that time had to pey to get married. They would have to pay possibly one thousand dollars. This is alot nowadays but it is worth even more during the time when Bread Givers takes place. I personally think that love is not the only thing that determines wether two people are meant to be together or if they will be compatible. Love is a very important aspect of a relationship but it is not the only reason there are relationships between two people. For a relationship to work, the two people have to have things in common and they have to like and dislike the same things. Some people think that when they are in love with someone that they are compatible with eachother. This is not true all of the time there have to be certain things that add to the relationship.
I believe love is the greatest factor in determining who someone is going to marry. People; for example, parents; shouldn't be the ones to decide who their children marry like the parents in "Bread Givers" do. It won't be a happy marriage if it is forced. However, people in the present day are very quick to judge. They think they are in love or they have found the right person when sometimes it isn't the right person; however, having the freedom to choose help people to learn lessons in love and life that they may not have learned if they were forced to marry someone they barely even knew. When two people are really in love, their marriage will guaranteed be a happier one than if they were forced to marry someone else and go on the rest of their life wondering who the right person for them actually is.
Yes, I believe that true love is the only reason people should marry. After all, you are supposed to be spending the rest of your life bonded with each other. In some sense the definition of a marriage is to live with your mate until death do you part. However, nowadays, a large portion of marriages end in a divorce. Perhaps modern standards of love, or marriage, have become a bit more lax. Truly, thoough, a marriage should be a lifelong commitment based on the love for each other.
the only way to determine love is to see who you are compatible with, by having things in common, things that you both do. you also must have the same fellings for eachother, if you dont have much in common and argue it will result in a bad marriage, arranged marriages should done either becuase when you are able to marry you should be able to pick the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. arranged marriages also can bad marriages resulting in divorces, becuase the couple dont relate to eachother
I believe this is a good way to find a marrage partner. If you do not get along well with your husband or wife then you should not be with them. Marrage for reasons such as money or status can lead to divorce and unhappiness. If the people marrying love each other and enjoy each other's company then they could be happy for life. I believe that this trend developed in the 1800s or 1900s. When immigrants started coming to America, it started to become less and less common to marry off children for dowry and family ties. Taking on American culture also had to do with the American way of marrage. Love and affection should be the way to determine who to marry.
Yes this is a good way to determine love because all people should be able to marry who they want. If the woman didnt want to marry the man, then it wouldn't be a healthy marriage. Then the marriage might actually last. If both people wanted to get married, than it is probably going to be less of a chance that they will get divorce.
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